I
was just 10 when I began menstruating. Due to its sudden arrival at such a
tender age, my mother and grandmother couldn't teach me anything about it in
advance. It was a difficult situation for me. I didn’t realize what happened
suddenly.
My mother and grandmother noticed the fear in
my mind. They told me that it’s a natural transformation that happens to every
girl and there's nothing to be worried about. They gave me every lesson of
hygiene and cleanliness.
I
feel lucky to have both of them for my support. My grandmother, a free soul, solved
every doubt I had about menstruation. Her remedies have always brought me out
of the pile of sufferings due to periods.
Whenever
I get cramps during my periods, granny hands me a warm cup of coffee which
gives me relief. But I was surprised when one of my friends informed me that
having coffee during periods is very harmful. I knew that my grandmother would
not suggest something that is harmful to my health and I always felt better
after having a cup of coffee. So how could she say that coffee is harmful
during periods? I went to my granny and raised this question. She said,
"The reason for cramps is the lack of flow. Coffee is a thing which leads
to the required amount of flow which will help you to find relief from
cramps." Based on my personal experience I am pretty sure that coffee will
not harm you in any way and is definitely a good remedy for cramps.
During
my school days, I remember many girls would be embarrassed because of the
stains they get on their uniform due to the sudden arrival of monthly periods.
But I have never come across this situation. Mummy and granny were too
particular about this. They told me that up to 14 years of age there is an
irregularity in the dates of the cycle. After completing 22 days of my previous
menstrual cycle, they advised me to take the required precautions while going
outside no matter whether I get periods or not. Even after completing 14 years
of age, when the menstrual cycle was regularised, they made sure that I took
the necessary precautions when my periods are due.
Along
with the ladies in the family, we do not hush up about menstruation. My brother
is 10 years younger to me but we are like best friends. We share as many things
as possible with each other. He is a 10 year old boy filled with curiosity and
asks many questions. Once he asked me why I behaved weirdly for one or two days
every month, I was surrounded by some elderly ladies of the family at that time
and one of them was of the opinion that I should keep quite. But I broke up the
silence and gave him the basic knowledge on menstruation. I said that every
girl has this during every month and she needs to rest at that time. Since that
day, he started taking care of me and also shouldered many of my
responsibilities when I was in pain during periods. According to me, every lady
should share what she has to experience during menstruation with the male
members of the family like father, brother, husband or son. This will help them
to empathize with women and support them.
When
women themselves are responsible for perpetuating period related
discrimination, it angers me. When I was a child my mother and aunt had their
periods during Ganesh Chaturti and although we don’t discriminate at home on
the basis of periods, at our ancestral home, there is a separate room for women
who are menstruating. My cousin and I went to my mother and aunt and this
angered another lady from the family. She prohibited us from entering the holy
space because we had touched the menstruating women. Furthermore, I heard her
taunting my mother and aunt for not maintaining distance and not taking
medicines to postpone the period date. After growing up I began understanding
things and I warned my mother not to take any medicines that will have a
negative effect on her health.
In
my journey as a student, I came into contact with two highly qualified lady
teachers with two different mindsets. One was a mother of a daughter and quite
older in age whereas the other was just around 35 years approximately and
didn’t have a daughter. I always have health issues like cramps, giddiness on
the first day of menstruation. The one who was a mother of a daughter never
understood me and always felt that I am very week and I fall sick every month.
It was very easy for an elderly woman like her to understand the plight of a
teenage girl suffering from menstrual cramps yet she ridiculed the situation
whereas the other teacher understood my problem by just looking into my eyes
and was a great support to me. I always admired her for this.
As
I have mentioned above about the tradition of sitting in a corner during Ganesh
Chaturthi while having periods, one more lovely memory comes to my mind. One of
my 13 years old cousin suddenly got periods during Chaturthi. She was not
accustomed to sitting still in one place especially when the others are moving
about freely and playing. It made her feel uncomfortable. So in order to make
her feel comfortable, all of us, her brothers and sisters decided to accompany
her.
This
kind of support can be a small but important step towards getting rid of
menstrual discrimination. Every girl should get such support to blast the myth
that periods ruins her life or she is abnormal during her cycle.
Every girl needs SUPPORT during menstruation.
Her
family, friends, teachers, colleagues should ensure that she is not alone. And
a special message for the mothers, grandmothers, aunties and all the elderly
ladies, whenever you are explaining the culture to the girls on the brink of
menstruation, make sure that you make some concrete statements, give a strong
evidence which is scientific, logical and easy for a budding mind to
understand. Don't spread fear in the name of God and culture spoiling their
image in the minds of these young buds.
Most
of the things said by our culture have a scientific reason behind it, learn
them and teach your daughters the same and don't spread myths.
Menstruation is a way of life not a curse as it is propagated to be sometimes. No one should feel guilty for menstruating. It is a biological transformation just like all the other changes our bodies go through during puberty. Glorifying it or discriminating against it won’t help us to create a healthy society. Let us stop associating guilt with menstruation and build healthy minds, bodies and souls.
Dnyanada A. Prabhudessai,
Very well articulated👌👌
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